breath in snowflakes

fuck just fuck. i am so depressed, broken, full of shame and guit. i hate olivia just her names makes me want to kill her. i hate bryce his name makes me want to cry and kill him. he is such a god damn mamas boy! i was so damn stupid for fucking thinking i was going to marry him. i gave him everythhing. i tried killing myself over him this summer. its not a big deal dont woery im still here...dealing with all of this shit. i smoke to forge, i run to forget, i eat or dont eat to gain control. im tired of being this way. im going insane. i want out of this gay ass mother fucking town!! nkw! fuck all of you townies and all of you woo hurt me!! im done here. you did your damage. happy? fuck you WP i hate you your nothing but bad memories. thats why im taking classes ver the summer to get the fuck out of here faster!!! no one undeesta ds how muchx of a mess i am. no one understands me. im crying and yelling for help so loud bjt no o e hears me and if they do they pretend its not real. i wish my life was a dream and i could start all over again. i really just want to take my life right now. im done so done. i just dont know how and idk if i will even go to heaven. FML

I'm not addicted yet...

Where to start and what to say. i began the day with fear as i rush in a hurry. out the door my palms are sweaty as i wait to see your face. no words are needed just the silence is enough. i beg for you in my head. just a smile would be nice but nothing comes from your empty face. i miss you. i miss us. some days its easier then others but tonight i moss you.

Skinny Love

May I just point out the fact this girl is stunning and I would give anything to look like her?
I mean her lips are so kissable looking, her cheeks are perfect shade of pink. Her collar bones stick out beautifully. The gap between her legs, her skinny little arms. Her hair looks so thick and lushish. She has hardly any boobs and her stomach is flat. You can tell her hands are gripping her hip bones <3. Now I'm not a lesbian or anything, but this girl is perfect.

With the lights turned off

I don't really feel like blogging but for some reason I am anyway. So yeah. Um...what to say. Like i have things i could tell you guys but i don't want to write it all out. How about this I still love B but I heard B is talking to K and K is also talking to four other guys. Then I saw this kid get knocked out cold in the hallway. Like what the fuck? I'm so sick of this shitty ass school. Fuck. I just want to run away with Sweetpea in my car and drive and drive. Never ever looking back. I still want to run with the wild horses. Screw this I want Bryce and idk how to get him back. I've spent so many nights thinking and crying then thinking and crying. WTF? can't he see we're meant to be together? :'( ....i miss everything about him. His beautiful smile, the way he looked down at me. The look in his eyes were you could tell he loved me. The way he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer. The way my hand fit perfectly on the back of his neck playing with his little curls. How about the way everyone could tell we were perfect for each  other? I don't know what to do anymore. I've begged. I would do anything to get him back. Besides kill someone unless that meant K then I would but whateverrrrr. I'm tired of not sleeping. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of seeing him flirt with other girls. I'm tired of pretending. AND i am really FUCKIN tired of pretending everything is okay at school when i come home and fall apart. I hate hate seeing my fb single and not seeing in a relationship with Bryce.

Left to dry

Where to start...I could go through and tell you everything about me and all my imperfections, but instead I think I will just start off with this. I am not a little kid anymore I am not an adult yet. Therefore my brain switches between the two. In nine months I will be "consider" by the USA as an adult, but mentally I'm not one. I try to conform to society(I'm its loyal subject), but its just as hard being yourself. I write to forget and remember. I know it doesn't make much sense its hard to explain. Currently I have a cold so I cant sing. Well I can it just hurts and sounds like shit so I won't. I think Thats what I will leave you guys with.